asinglewordwilldo: (Default)
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - E.M. Forster

When I was teaching at Harvard, I often threw that quote at my students more than once during a semester. The ones that found it pretentious never stayed long...the ones that found it funny that I quoted a gay 19th century novelist who fell in love with a seventeen year old Middle Eastern boy usually made the best progress. It was the ones who took it to heart, though, that went on to truly great things.

You see, I offered it up in an effort to emphasize the fact that one must go into the world with an open mind and a desire for real truth, regardless of how fantastic truth might be. It could be religion, faith, science or bloody grocery shopping, but truth is truth, unchanging.

I had a rather lovely life planned out...well, planned out for me more than anything. Go to school, become a doctor...do right by the Keel family name. But then I found Truth, with a capital ‘T,’ as Lorelai might say. Have I mentioned that I love you today, sweetheart? I found it on the moors while studying English ravens. My dead mother’s voice came to me in the midst of a tape recording of ravensong...and I let go of my safe little plan. It took some time, some work..and some fortitude, but I started on my path to Truth, and here I remain.

We all want a certain life for ourselves...but it’s not always the life we were born to live. A mathematician can aspire to dreams of being a poet, but his gifts will always take him back to the world of the concrete rather than the esoteric artist’s realm. A warrior may dream of peace, but one day, he will once again find himself in the heat of battle.

It’s not easy...but it’s the way things are. I know only this for certain...had I earned my medical degree and forged a nice little practice in Blackpool or London...I never would have gone to Star’s Hollow, and I never would have met Lorelai Gilmore.

She is the life that waits for me now...and I would not trade it for anything in all the world.

Muse: Alva Keel
Fandom: Miracles
Words: 374
asinglewordwilldo: (Lorelai digs the black silk PJ's)
Last night, I dreamed of our future wedding…Lorelai’s and mine. Well…I dreamed about the reception. It was lovely…and disturbing, in equal parts.

Lovely because everything was perfect…and disturbing because it began with Miss Patti dragging me out onto the dance floor and promptly started groping me as we swayed to a slow song…yet not slow enough to warrant the hold she had firmly on my backside.

I know that Paul was my best man, and Evey was a bridesmaid…Matty was our ring bearer. Rory was the maid of honor, and a beautiful one at that. The wedding was in Star’s Hollow, and the town square hosted our reception…catered by Sookie of course.

The whole affair was a comedy of errors…that queer young man Kirk did photography, and Rory’s friend Jess attended as our DJ. Lorelai was rather pleased with him for being there, I knew…probably because her mother was present and didn’t seem very happy with any of it, until Taylor Doose invited her to dance.

The most vivid detail, though, was when I finally took Lorelai out onto the floor and the music began to play. And that was the single, shining fact that made it all so glorious…holding in my arms Mrs. Alva Keel, regardless of what the marriage certificate might say when we do get married, love, I still say taking my name would be a lovely, traditional touch. The mother of my child…the woman of my dreams.

I remember she kissed me…then begged me to let her start Vogue-ing to give her mother a heart attack.

And just before I woke up, I remember thinking that demons could have consumed my flesh in that instant…fire could have fallen from the sky, the apocalypse I’ve been working to prevent could have arrived in that very moment, and I would have died content.

As many fears and doubts as I might have about this road I’m now traveling…I know they’re natural. And I know that in the end, they don’t matter.

I’m in love…I’m going to be a father, and I’m going to marry the loveliest of the Gilmore Girls who lives for Mallowmars and coffee and *doesn’t* attend Yale.

I’m scared…I’m nervous…I’m thoroughly intimidated…but I’m happy, and eager for that dream to become a reality. And nothing in the world’s going to change that.

Muse: Alva Keel
Fandom: Miracles
Words: 387

April 2009

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